We had waited a long time to see him for the first time. For years she had had Dr. Hudgens. A nice man who liked her. Every visit I would take her in and say hi to him. He was very friendly.
I was bewildered when she would become very upset when I suggested we call him and even cry. This seemed wrong to me. She needed a Dr. that she could 'bother.' We decided that a geriatric specialist would be best. She called her pharmacist and asked him to recommend one-he said that there were no geriatric specialists any more. I was sitting next to her when she had this conversation. I didn't accept this and got on the internet and found their association and requested a list of all of the geriatric specialists in Oregon and California. I received this list about two days after my request. On line I was able to find Dr. Soddy, who was even affiliated with Carmel Hills-the rehab facility where mom was being treated. Dr. Soddy was on a vacation and it was a long wait to see him. There was also another general practitoner with a geriatric 'tag' on the Monterey Peninsula. As it turned out, Dr. Soddy was a geriatric specialist with an Alzheimer's 'tag.' But this we didn't realize until moms first visit.
Finally he came. He was a kind soft spoken man. Gentle.
Mom had been given a memory test about a week earlier by the head of CNAs. More of a long term memory test that is required by the state of California to be given every patient in the facility during their stay. Mom did wonderfully. We were all proud of her, so she felt confident about taking the MMSE that Dr. Soddy gave her that afternoon, the one that she did so poorly on. She scored 15/30. Not good, he said for a person that had had two years of college.
He sat next to her and spoke into her left ear. She was deaf in the other and she was blind, having much less sight than she let on.
"What you have is Alzheimer's disease."
I burst into tears. I was sitting at the end of her bed. She couldn't see me or hear me. God knows what she was thinking or feeling. She had had two friends die from Alzheimer's, a married couple, first the husband than the wife. Mom actually expressed the idea that a person with Alzheimers was crazy. I knew nothing about the disease except that it was horrible and terminal.
After he left she said, "Well, I'll have to change my plans."
All the month of October I had been looking for section 8 rentals. Which I was to find out later had been closed for years in California. I was exhausted. I was homesick. Around this time the Foundation called me and told me I had overstayed in mom's apartment and had been there too many weeks and had to leave. She really couldn't accept this. She ripped her nightie off, grabbed at me, told me that I had to stay. She tried to make deals saying that I could stay with her at her friends house that I wouldn't have to care for her, just stay with her. She was very much afraid to have me leave her. She was afraid of something that she knew. " I am being dumped," she said. I told her that she wasn't being fair. I thought that she would be living in a private room there and I thought that that was so terrible I couldn't verbalize that to mom. I thought that she would just have to accept. There was a woman that had lived for sixteen years in the room adjoining hers and another woman that was 104 whose daughter spent every afternoon with, and we would visit with each other on some of the breaks I would take while spending time with mom.
The day that I left she was calm and undercontrol. I believe this was the last day of October.
Every few days I would talk to her on the phone. The hopelessness was beyond depression. In a week or two she caught pneumonia. She didn't sound like she was having a hard time breathing. I wrote her Dr. "Why is she still in the hospital?" He called me. "She has a urinary tract infection."
Later I would learn while working with Alzheimer's and dementia that when a person is on a liquid diet, has pneumonia and has a urinary tract infection, that person is actively dying. On the morning of December 6 my sister called me and told me that mom had 2 hours to live. A little before 9a. I can't remember saying anything to her. I checked my email and my brother wrote, "Mom is resting with morphin drip, will die sometime today." How can a person 'feel' frozen? I was stone.
(in response to my email to Anne Albano, after moms death)
Wendy…I would suggest that you talk to your mom’s power of attorney who may know better the sequence of events. I do believe your mom had pneumonia which sometimes happens when one becomes bedridden. And as you recall, your mom had a pelvic fracture which started the sequence of events…which often happens with frail elders.
Her name is Theresa Erickson at 915-3981.
Anne
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Wendy Martin [mailto:windimartn@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 5:52 AM
To: Anne Albano
Subject: RE: Christy Schaller
Dear Anne,
It is not clear in my mind the sequence of events in my mother's life after I left Carmel .
She became ill with the flu at the care facility and then got pneumonia and was taken to the hospital, where she stayed for quite a while. Then about 24 hours before her death she was taken out of the hospital and where I don't know. Could you help me? Then she was returned to the hospital where she was given morphine. My brother thought for breathing difficulties and my sister thought for choking or the inability to swallow.
I talked to Dr. Saddy after her death. He did not remember her, how much morphine she was given, or for what condition the morphine was given. The death certificate was not with her medical records that he had, which lead him to believe that not he, but another physician cared for her at the time of her death.
If you could send me her social security number, I could access her death certificate through the state of California . I would be quite grateful.
Thank you,
Wendy
Anne Albano
THE CF has an arrangement for "assisted living" for past tenants IF they qualit...if there is funding...if the administration thinks that a less restritive environment would be beneficial and improve the quality of life...and if the family can participate in funds. Your mom was in skilled nursing facility at Carmel Hills which her state benefits of medicare and medical covered. If she had been able to gain more independence...Robb and I discussed the possibility of moving her to a less restrictive environment...assisted living. This was by no means, a done deal...we would have had to have her evaluated by a physician...then I would have had to find an appropriate facility which would take less money...etc. We would not have offered any support to her at Carmel Hills since her medical was kicking in.
And yes...we would have been short of money still for "assisted living" but Robb generously offered to assist financially if we got to that place. We obviously never did.
If you have further questions...I am happy to answer them....
Anne
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Wendy Martin [mailto:windimartn@yahoo.com]
Sent: Sun 2/17/2008 1:59 PM
To: Anne Albano
Subject: Christy Schaller
Dear Anne,
Robb wrote an email to me, after mom's death, that there was an arrangement set up with the Foundation involving $2000. a month toward assisted living with Robb paying $600. after mom's government checks would be applied. Is this true?
Mom had me request a private room for her at the center while I was there. She couldn't have know about the other arrangement. She never mentioned it to me over the phone and she was writing Candy checks which would not have been covered if her money was being taken for this arrangement. Please enlighten me.
Mom was so embarrassed about her condition. Lack of hearing, lack of seeing and being crippled so.
Wendy Martin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why would Theresa Erickson act as Power of Attorney? Was she paid for this service,by whom? Wasn't Robb able to function, he lived only 3 hours away?
GRIEF
Grief came as hate.
It came with an ugly face, so you couldn't see it.
Grief came with a mask,
Horrible and frightening and wanting to consume.
Grief came as an enemy,
Wanting to devour itself and you and me.
Grief left the tears behind,
And the sadness buried a if non-existent.
Grief came differently this time
Unrecognizable, without sense or reason.
Grief came. Grief came.
Finally it was gone and I couldn't remember.
©2009 Wendy Gwen Martin
Again making legal copies. Counting the pages. The cover page. Her fax number, my fax number. Her telephone number, my telephone number. Her disregard of my specifics. (Please send me legal proof that you shared power of attorney with my bother Rob) My requests. I wait for the conformation sheet. Pay the girl. Damn her, damn life, damn all things that matter and must be tracked down, exposed and resolved.
I email my brother-'get me mom's medical records.'
"No." He answers. He sends me the death certificate. That settles nothing. When someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, medication can be withheld if the patient has pneumonia, only power of attorney can do this. I want to know if Teresa Erickson did this to my mother.
How did it come to this? This lack of communication. This lack of concern of a life-old, helpless, crippled, blind but still feeling, still caring, still loving life. Wanting to be loved in spite of her condition, in spite of her frailties.
The Indian woman walked up the stairs with me. How do they care for their old in India, I asked her. Not like here, she said. They are cared for at home, around grandchildren and family. They are so alone here, she said. It's terrible. A place like this is terrible.
©2009Wendy Martin
No comments:
Post a Comment